What’s The Latest From Westminster, Motty?

Saw this excellent piece from one of the people at PoliticalBetting, and for that its over to John Motson, at Westminster.

This time last year, Gordon’s team were 3-0 down but there were still 30 minutes left to play. The fans were chanting for the Board to remove him before the game was even finished.

Since then, GB stunned everyone and silenced his critics by bringing on his £250 billion signing - and a style of play that would save football from imminent collapse. But even spending that much has failed to score a goal. And the Germans and the French are muttering it was a pretty crap system and they are going back to their old style of play.

Then fans started hearing on their radios about player’s salaries - and what their season ticket money was being spent on - twin Swedish au pairs, dodgy second Cheshire mansions, duck ponds in Ferraris, the works. Uproar on the terraces, their players being spat at by their own fans - chaos. No-one seemed very interested in the game for a while. Then the work-horse they got from Norwich yonks ago was told he was going to be substituted, so in a hissy fit punched the referee. He got sent for an early bath.

Oh, and possible future player-manager Purnell? He walked off the pitch. He seemed to be beckoning to a couple of the other players, but they all needed to tie their laces, so couldn’t quite see him…

Late in the game, Tories United brought out their controversial new signing, Cuts (even though there was some doubt he was fit to play - and even whether their manager wanted him on the field at all) - who promptly ran on and scored a 35 yard screamer of a volley. And who is now peppering Labour City’s goal with shot after shot. Gordon has been heard to mutter “I wanted to invest in Cuts too…”

And the sorry episode of the Libyan signing won’t go away, even though the injured Megrahi has gone back to his old club now. The shoddy shirt-sponsorship deal remains deeply unpopular (although wearing “We love Colonel G! Libyan Oil for us” on the shirt was never going to help sell many replica kits). Gordon has managed what he thinks is the canny trick of saying nothing about it, whilst blaming some Scottish bloke. Many in the press, near and far, have not been convinced though.

Four-down nine-man Labour City now have just nine minutes of play left - with no chance of extra time. Gordon’s used all his subs. Many of the fans seem to be heading for the exits. A few are raising their spirits by singing “We’re shit - and we know we are!”, but mostly the terraces are silent. Next season, eh? With a new manager. At least we’ll definitely be in Europe then…

Gordon’s last best hope? Floodlight failure…

Brown is in need of some divine intervention…not going to happen, might be an early bath after all the fanfare.

Night, Night.

 

Bob :)