Am I Missing Out On Something?

Morning,

I have a thought that have been on my mind this morning, in fact, it has been making me think for some considerable time.

Ever since I left school pretty much, I have been single. I don't know why it has happened like that. I think that my personal problems that got in the way for the five years following myself coming home from the Isle of Wight has a great deal to do with it, and so any chance of finding someone was next to nil as it wasn't really important back then.

Shame really, as I do wish things were different. Perhaps, back then I should have fought my problems with someone there to be with me, instead of fighting all my problems, on my own, too scared of letting others into my world.

Some might see the ramblings above, as someone who still has problems, although not as acute as they once were. I can understand where they come from on that premise.

I see friends, moving on in life, so it seems. In some cases, starting families, having gorgeous babies!

And I do have to ask the question - am I missing something?

Not in a monetary sense, or materialistic sense - but in a inner-happiness, within myself and around myself.

You can sense when people are happy within themselves, they seem much more at ease with themselves, more assured, dare I say, confident in themselves.

It isn't that I don't think that I have got more confidence in the last few years. I know I have, it is just that I don't know whether I am ready, if I'll ever be ready to find that someone and most importantly, settle down and have a family.

Or even if I want to.

The women that I have taken a liking to, have all without exception rejected me out of hand, for one reason or another. There will come a time when I frankly will not want to continuing doing this, and in the process feel that I am getting desperate.

I do not want to become one of these blokes who go out finding a piece of flesh, (as long as they have a heartbeat) and get her into bed and fuck her, and then regret it the next morning, because that would complicate things.

And that's the reason why I haven't lost it my virginity yet. Although I am not religious, I do agree that the first time, you do have sex, it needs to be someone you care about and love - and until I find that special person, the pecker will be staying firmly under my Calvin Kleins!

Speak later!

Rob :)





Posted with LifeCast