Strange and Odd

Evening,

Had a surreal few moments whilst at work this morning.  It involved speaking to an gentleman who had a problem, and whilst dealing with it and eventually after 10 minutes of talking with him about the query, began calling me Guv’nor and Boss amongst other expressions.

Only one person has ever called me that.

Unfortunately, I haven’t seen my father for some five years pretty much, and for a moment this morning -  I could not help but shed a tear for my father and it was a private moment, no one saw it.  I doubt they would have noticed it, but still it happened and I have to ask myself why did that happen. 

Do not get me wrong, I think the way my mother has helped me through my depression and suicidal tendencies in the aftermath of my father leaving home, was nothing short of amazing. 

The way that Dad left home was explicitly sudden and without some form of explanation at the time left me traumatised for several years and for that period I was pretty much unemployable – the difference in me now, compared to 10 years ago, is fucking frightening. 

Sometimes in life, terrible things happen and yet above the rubble, we rise up and become better people…

It’s the same with my ever continuing weight problems, been trying to convince that I was planning indulging over Christmas, but fuck me it’s almost three weeks since fucking Christmas, and how many times have I’ve been there since then.

Oooh, I can just about count them on my hand…

Seriously, I need to get focussed on the coming months of events, we’ve got a wedding involving my mate Shiv and her other half Rob down in Lydd in the middle of March and the aim is to get down towards 13 stone for the big day.  I have got my eyes on a terrific three piece suits from Allsaints for the ceremony and don’t want to be looking like some fucking fat cunt from the Full Monty.

So we’re going to be at the gym tomorrow afternoon, as soon as I finish at the gym, and probably take in some classes specifically to get rid of the fucking spare tyre which seems to be growing at a alarming rate.

Still, according to the scales, I’m still around the 14 stone mark.  Must be all the push-ups that I have been doing…

Mind how you go.