Evening,
Living at home, you would think would replace the brutally obvious void of not having the joy of sharing your life with someone, whether that is a girlfriend, wife or soulmate.
Let me be frank with you on this. It does not - in fact it shows the inadequence that there is my life. See when you are at home, there is me, my sister and my mother. Three singletons, I think in the case of my mother and sister, destined to remain single for life after their treatment at the hands of my father whilst I was at school.
I do not want to grow old lonely, as that is probably going to end with me ending my life early - sad as that might be. Obviously, if you have such an hectic lifestyle, then being single is probably not a bad call to make - however, the longer I stay at home and with my work situation changing, so I am with a lot more people of my generation - the true realisation of my own inadequencies are beginning to show in all of its colours.
What it is showing to me is that sooner, rather than later I am going to have to make a big call on where I am going to take myself, whether that is to get a flat in town whilst still working where I am, which would make things bearable - however knowing that my family will always be there to make my life hell, like it is now - or to leave everything.
The latter option was the preferred option of mine, when I had to go back home, when my former housemate had
to go return to her hometown for personal reasons - my own plan was to move to the Isle of Wight, however with so little time this was not a realistic option sadly.
This option is hopefully going to become open again in the next six to eighteen months for various reasons, and I am beginning to think of ways to make this as a easy decision to make as possible.
It might be the case that I have to launch my "Scorched Earth" option. In essence it when I become as much of a shithead/cunt/wanker as possible to everyone - at home and at work.
Everytime I have used this option, it has worked without fail. And frankly, with the way I have been treated by some people in recent years, it's probably the very least they deserve.
At least then it would not be a bug-bear to leave this shit-tip of a town.
Every cloud...
Night, Night
Rob :(
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